End of the Week

Today D has gone to town to see Bill Bailey and I am left alone, at home, on a friday night, on my first week of the job.

Actually, I don't mind. I am tired out. I LOVE my job. Its practical, you find your own work, and my office has almost NO red tape. Today was another good day, though at the start I made a small brain fart by printing the wrong document and all I could do was think 'FUCK'. I really lost my stride, because I don't know aything, can't tell the difference, and no one seems to be in the office long enough to carry out a conversation. So, there is no one new besides me, everything is foreign, and I just really felt over my head.

I then went for lunch, bought a chocolate indulgence from marks and spencer[mousse, brownie, maltesers, caramel, fudge, cream, white and milk chocolate buttons] and had a good day henceforth. Call it comfort eating, I don't care, it worked. M&S by the way, is my reckoning. It is full of things I will happily spend on and eat. I dont spend money on makeup, neither do i go out much. I don't buy tops that cost more than SG20, and I never will. I will never understand brand whores unless its an issue of quality or cut. I have found my living equilibrium, and i am fine with it. Music, books and food. Ahhhhhh.

Did another report today and for the first 10 minutes, panicked. Why ? Because it was a financial forecast of a project that I hadn't been involved in, and my resource was basically a ppt presentation and a thumbs up. Add to the fact that I never studied economics. And oh, I had one hour. If it weren't for the business plans i had already written for myself, and the investment pitches i did for my own firm....

It came out good, the guy said 'excellent'... I am incredibly happy, because somehow what I made sense of, made sense in the end. I am essentially a salesperson, I make numbers mean something, and I add industry expertise, which is really just common sense. His comment did make me want to issue a dept-wide letter going along the lines of 'thank you, you are all great, smart smart people, and i love working with you, how can i thank you enough, i want to stay here forever' . I won't, because I don't want to give the game away that I was absolutely terrified of the corporate machine until today.

Next week : heading my own deal origination. Fingers crossed.