Groundhog days for an Accountant

I have just finished a whole week of groundhog. Its been the same old nothing and I am getting pissed off. I am not taking well to it because I am essentially an aplha personality, type, whatever. I have work done that needs checking, and I wish I could hit the ground running, but I can't and its bugging me. Its not kosher for me to have something waiting on the desk, unchecked, mistakes hidden to my eyesight but obvious to everyone else. I try to do things as best as I can, but its hard when there is no input, and I have to engineer a report specifically to go off on a tangent because I have no idea what they want. There are just so many times you can ask for help before you look needy and incompetent for the job.

Thank god d's stepsis is a psychologist in training. I am overanalysing everything because I am paranoid that I am not fitting into the company culture. Maybe I am not supposed to be hankering for more work. Maybe I should tame this unchecked ego [I bought egonomics to get rid of the bad bits]. Maybe they don't like me at all and I should just quit and run away. Maybe I am worrying about something else.

Actually yes, I am worrying about something else. But tough. Its what I do, I shut up until everything is over and laugh about it, after going through a shitload of soul-tossing. Nothing about me, just worrying after someone else.

Thats it, I am going to bed and when I wake up tomorrow, everything will be fine. Now I am worrying whether I am worying too much just about her, and not enough on my other special in vancouver.

Will send a memo. Another fine line between being a needy iritating friend and someone just muddling along, making mistakes that everyone else sees.